【Text, Picture/Excerpt from If published "The Meaning of Olderness: The Year of Me and Those Older People", author John. Lilan]
Everyone has a particularly harmful myth about the elderly: they believe that the elderly no longer work and have no sex anymore. In the United States, these are almost the two things that are inferior to others. However, neither of these two statements are necessarily true. Love between older people is something that many people think is disgusting, especially when it comes to sex - if the elderly happen to be your parents (probably), then they are disgusting. The skin is loose, the bones are fragile, the circulation is poor, and the memory is getting worse and worse. The "Victoria secret" songs in underwear advertisements or youth romantic movies are probably not the case.
People in my mother's generation rarely see their parents remarry or get together in their old age. Many people have limited love experience until they are eighty or ninety. They got married early and then spent their whole lives together. A study by the University of Chicago called National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project found that only one out of five women aged 75 to 85 said they had more than two sexual partners in their lives, while one out of two men.
If the new love now wants to have a place in their age, they must explore themselves without character model and headlessness.
The baby trend has created a wave of sexual revolutions since then, and socialists expect them to bring changes, but some elders have actually always enjoyed a living sex life. In 2010, researchers at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University suggested that 20 to 30% of men and women in their 80s still have sex. (Especially, men in their seventies or older have more oral sex than those who receive oral sex, while women do not have more oral sex, which is likely because women live longer than their companions.)
However, as they grow older, sex may lead to new nuisance. After 85 years old, more than a quarter of people said they felt it was difficult. Sexual behavior with dementia patients will cause the problem of whether it is a destiny sexual intercourse; more and more people's lives will increase and enter that range, and we just started to set up methods to deal with this problem. People with dementia often fall into nursing homes, and many nursing homes are procrastinating and not proactive about the situation where the residents want to have sexual behavior, and give formal causal policies for the employees, let alone communicate with their residents and their families.
So sex becomes like death--although it happens, no one talks about it, at least not publicly.
The institution where Heron and Hoy live, "The Hebrew House in the Valley" is a special case (and many other aspects are also). Since the 1990s, a policy of Hebrew House was to promote the establishment of confidentiality relations between residents (including those with Alzheimer's disease) and allow residents to view erotic books or videos. Caregivers will notice that they are unhappy in international relations through some behavioral changes in residents (such as low appetite) (and employees hold monthly activities to memorialize dead members, which is even rarer in nursing institutions).
Recently, Hebrew House added a new convention service called the Silver Parent date, but it was not very successful: the recent data shows that only about forty of the 870 residents of the Hebrew House were involved. Many people have been taking care of their companions on the sickbed for a long time, and they are emotionally exhausted and do not want to live with them again.
Dew. Williger is also familiar with this experience. When I started visiting her, her husband had been in his lifetime for twenty-one years, and she had never met before. I asked her what she had to give up when she was old. She was silent for a moment and said, "The most obvious thing is sex, but I didn't mind that much. I used to like walking, but now I can't do it."
She showed that she was more concerned about walking.
Elderly students often worry about people like dew, who live alone and choose not to participate in group activities, including activities they have loved before. Dona. M. Donna M. Corrado is the director of the New York Department for the Aging. She said: "Social isolation can kill people. People who don't go out, eat well, and don't take medicine will not live long." When I visited the exposing silk, she often mentioned that she wanted to go out to play or go to sports classes, and in the end she always gave up her mind. To her, after leaving her former apartment, the happy social life was gone forever.
However, it may also be that people are so disinterested in certain social contacts as they grow older and devote their energy to people and relationships they think are more intentional. Lu Zi sometimes worried about her children or children, but she never mentioned that she felt lonely. Socialists consider this situation as a plan—there are limited time left for older people, and they fill it with people who support themselves, and no longer care about people who make them tired or need to find them.
Elders no longer establish new relationships, but rely more on their existing relationships. It is better to maintain a strong social connection than to find a partner, and only an essentially positive social connection is valuable; in bad relationships, or being with bad relatives, it is as bad as the elderly and young people. Rora. Castenson wrote well: "The harm caused by a relationship may be greater than the benefits caused by a good relationship."